Effanineffable
by Izzyaro
Summary: Why was the Cheshire Cat not more active in preventing Iracebeth from getting hold of the Chronosphere? Where was Absolem? Maybe there was a method behind the madness. Contains spoilers for 'Through The Looking Glass'.


**Effanineffable**

 **Izzyaro**

 **Not a HP update, but I saw the film the other day and had to get this out. Mainly I can't have been the only one wondering where Chess was during the last half hour.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

Chessur sat back in mid-air and considered his options. He could ride with Bayard. It wasn't like his weight would slow the bloodhound down, and Mallymkun was always amusing. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't be the most comfortable journey. Maybe not then. He dismissed the Tweedles and their sleigh for the same reason. Mirana was a possibility. The Queen had given him permission to use her head whenever he wanted, providing she wasn't holding court or such nonsense. She wouldn't object now, and the unicorn could hardly protest.

Of course even Mirana's head couldn't compare to the bliss that was the Hatter's hat, but Chessur wasn't quite mad enough to taunt Tarrant today. Especially not in the presence of Alice.

Or perhaps he was. The two of them would be even more entertaining than Mally on her best day.

Decision made, Chessur rolled with the wind and allowed himself a wide grin. The Hatter was almost back to normal, or as normal as the Hatter ever was, and he would soon be able to play with dear Iracebeth again. The Red Queen might have been vicious and cruel, and have more than a touch of psychopathy in her, but, well, they all had their flaws. And she could be so much fun.

Naturally it was at that moment, when Chessur was plotting and scheming the most marvellous plots and schemes, that he caught the flash of blue out the corner of his eye.

Chessur didn't turn to look. He knew that by the time he did it would be gone. Instead he grinned even wider and drifted into Mirana.

"I shall meet you there," he said smoothly. "I have business to attend to."

Mirana raised an eyebrow, but to no-one's surprise it was Mally who got there first. "What business could you have that's more important than the Hatter's business?"

Chessur twisted upside down until her scowl could almost be taken as a smile. "Why, my business, of course."

He let himself stay just long enough to see her swell with indignation before dissolving himself. As entertaining as she was, this was simply not the time.

It was the work of a thought and an eye blink to rematerialise inside the hollow tree halfway across Underland. He floated onto the softest patch of moss and closed his eyes.

"I do hope you had a good reason for this. I fear dear Mally is quite vexed with me."

"Yes, she is normally such a paragon of patience." A flutter of wings, and Chessur felt his companion land next to him but he kept his eyes closed. The sunlight streaming through the holes in the bark really was quite pleasant. There was a faint huff, and when it next came the voice carried a trace of irritation, "And I did not call you here to sleep."

"I am a cat," Chessur retorted. "I came because I wished to, and I shall do as I please."

Nevertheless, he cracked one eye open, and had to grin. Absolem was scant inches from his nose, and his expression was distinctly unamused. "Cats," he muttered. "And Cheshire Cats are worst of all."

"How would you know?" Chessur asked. "You've only met the one."

Absolem just looked at him. "One is more than enough. And now, if you are quite finished?"

He took flight without looking back. Chessur yawned as widely as he could, but followed him up. It was in his nature to be contrary, but it was also in his nature to assist the Caterpillar turned Butterfly. Especially when Absolem landed next to a very familiar scroll.

Chessur shot a glance at him, but Absolem just flicked a wing almost disdainfully at the compendium. Chessur rolled his eyes and batted it open.

The Oraculum sprang free, and Chessur hopped into the air to follow its progress. He traced the familiar events of days past, pausing for a moment on the day the Hatter found his hat, before moving to the end of the scroll. He studied it in silence for a long minute before looking up at Absolem.

"I see. How dreadfully tedious."

For not one, but two sets of pictures adorned the day. That was nothing unusual, many days could go more than one way after all, but normally the changes were due to other people. This time…

"Yes," Absolem drawled. "You."

Chessur's tail flicked in irritation before he managed to control himself. Ignoring Absolem he floated down to examine the images more closely.

At least it was rather simple. On one path he joined his friends, used his abilities to their fullest extent, and was able to snatch the Chronosphere right from Iracebeth's hand. The Grand Clock was restored, the Hightopps were saved, and Iracebeth imprisoned with no hope of escape.

In the other, he stood by. The Red Queen got her wish, and past, present and future were obliterated.

Or not. Of course. Only Alice could manage to destroy and restore Time on the very same day.

And past that…

Reconciliation. A second chance.

Chessur sighed. "How tiresome. You know Tarrant has only just forgiven me for not assisting them on Horunvendush Day."

"Yes, however will you bear having Tarrant irked with you?"

Chessur shot a dark look at the Butterfly. "Do you have any idea how tedious he can be? 'Oh, Chess ran away to save his own skin, Chess ran when we needed him, Chess abandoned us.'" He flicked the scroll closed and floated back to his moss. "He understands so little."

Absolem fluttered down until he was at eye level and returned his glare without flinching. "It does not matter if the Hatter does not understand. Underland is our concern, and we will do what we must."

Chessur's eyes narrowed, and only a fool would take his grin for one of pleasure. "I am perfectly aware of my role."

After all, there were a thousand cats in Underland, but only one Cheshire Cat, just as there were a million Caterpillars and Butterflies, but only one Absolem. With power and knowledge came responsibilities that could not be neglected.

One to watch the Oraculum, one to see it fulfilled. That was the way it had always been, and the way it would always be.

But duties were not always easy. And Tarrant could be truly tiresome. Let alone Mallyumkin and Thackery. Even Mirana would likely find this difficult to forgive.

So he would just keep them from having to. Chessur shook himself out and stretched and allowed himself to grin. He was the Cheshire Cat, and he would do what he did best.

Namely get his own way by whatever means necessary.

All for the good of Underland, of course.

"Well, I suppose I had better be going then. It wouldn't do to be late now, would it?"

Absolem snorted. "Just try not to make a mess."

Chessur flipped upside down to grin at him. "When have I ever made a mess?"

As he evaporated out of sight Chessur decided that Mally's exasperation had absolutely nothing on Absolem's.

Now then, how to explain his inaction without it resulting in everyone despising him…

Ah. Of course.

* * *

Tarrant was not angry.

Frustrated, maybe. Exasperated, certainly. Possibly even irked. Resentful, embittered, disappointed, discontented, disgruntled-

"Whatever is the matter with you, Tarrant?"

Tarrant glared round, and Chessur promptly evaporated several feet back.

No, Tarrant was not angry. But it might, just might, have looked like he was.

But he forced the nameless emotion down, and was quite proud of how steady his voice was when he spoke.

"Where were you?"

Chessur frowned at him. "You might have to be a little more specific. Two minutes ago, I was with the Queen. Five minutes before that I was assisting Bayard. Before that-"

"Y'know what I mean," Tarrant growled, and Chessur once again flinched away. "Where were you when the Red Queen took the Chronosphere? When she had it in her hand, when you could have grabbed it and saved us all the trouble of being locked up and having to fix Time himself. Where were you?"

For a moment Chessur didn't reply, and Tarrant did feel anger then. Anger with the Cat for repeating his past mistakes, and anger with himself for expecting anything less.

He should have known better. A Bandersnatch couldn't change its spots, and a Cheshire Cat would always be a coward.

"She had Mirana."

Tarrant blinked. Chessur hadn't moved, but his green eyes were fixed on Tarrant's and his customary grin was nowhere in sight. "What?"

Chessur's tail twitched, but he spoke steadily, "She had Mirana, and Mally, and Thackery and Nivens and Bayard. If I had taken the Chronosphere, she would have killed them without a second thought to get it back. And then she would have killed Alice, and your family, and finally you as well, and despite what you think of me, Tarrant, I could not have saved you all. So tell me, O Wise and All-Seeing Hatter" green eyes blazed, "what should I have done?"

Tarrant could only stare. That was why the Cat had failed to act? Cats were liars, and Cheshire Cats more than most, but the more Tarrant thought about it the more sense it made. Or did it? Tarrant wasn't a fool, at least he didn't think he was, but it had been a very long day and his thoughts had been spinning in so many circles that he just couldn't think it all through.

"You should have done something," he muttered.

Chessur raised an eyebrow. "I should have chosen among you? Who to save, who could be saved..."

"No! Just, something. Something…more."

Chessur grinned again, but it was a peculiar sort of grin. A grin that Tarrant couldn't quite read, Which was strange, because Tarrant knew all Chessur's grins, even the ones that weren't really grins at all. "Have you ever considered the possibility that I don't tell you everything I do?"

Tarrant frowned. "Why wouldn't you? You normally do. Last week you spent two hours telling me about a mouse you had hunted that had turned out to be a rat."

Chessur chuckled. "Never mind, Tarrant."

Tarrant eyed him. Something felt different. More different than usual, and that was saying something when it came to Chessur. He decided to question it, and was just opening his mouth to do so when the Cat cocked his head to one side. "Is that your mother calling, Tarrant?"

"My mother?" Tarrant spun round. "What are you talking about? There's no-one-" he turned back and blinked. "There…"

The garden was deserted.

Tarrant looked around once more, just to be sure, and then folded his arms. "Rude."

* * *

High in the trees above him, Chessur grinned his widest grin yet. Next to him a blue Butterfly shook his head.

"Cats."

Chessur merely stretched himself out and purred. Asolem rolled his eyes, and the two of them sat in silence and watched the Sun rise over Underland.

* * *

 **Let's face it, Chessur is way too powerful, and Absolem knows far too much, even for Underlandians, so this is my take on how they manage it.**

 **Any feedback would be very much appreciated.**


End file.
